Pain in the Ass

There is a very unfortunately-named restaurant which I pass on a daily basis in my trips back and forth to work. This poor, poor restaurant has set itself up for constant butchering by ignorant American tongues by including in its name two nasal vowels, the significance of which are lost on our vast, uninformed public. Of course, I am speaking of none other than Au Bon Pain. People butcher this name mercilessly and go through their entire lives never realizing that it is not, in fact, "Aw Bonn Payne". That sounds like a bad Army nickname for some American soldier's German-fighting prowess.

I did hear one of my coworkers try to break the traditional pattern by calling the restaurant "Aw Bone Pawn", which was at least a bit of an improvement in the last word. People around here tend to try to avoid saying the name to escape the embarassment of being heard saying "We're heading down to Aw Bonn Payne for a little breakfast." They'd rather say, "I'm heading down to the bakery" and save a little face. They're not fooling anyone, least of all me!